SPIRITUAL, SINGLE & SEARCHING

Does the title sound like where you are these days! Let me tell you; this is where I am. I want to talk about it because being single for over five years now and in my late 40s, I can't help but wonder what is going on with the dating scene and relationships today. I realize this; It's not like it used to be. I also know I'm not the only one suffering from this. It's like there's a substantial massive disconnect in humanity. No real connections are being made and if you happen to make one, your ghosted.

Let's highlight this topic of interest (DATING). First, I want to, In this article, take a look at some of the reasons dating is so complex and offer some advice on how to make things a little bit easier for yourself.

PROBLEM: First is the options; we now have many choices with easy access to anyone, anywhere, anytime.

SOLUTION: You have to be more detailed in what you want. You are writing it down and reviewing it daily. When someone doesn't match that, it's easy to say no and move on. No time wasted and no questioning. Be very detailed in what you want.

PROBLEM: These days, we have hit this spiritual portal that has some of us questioning who we are, why we're here and our purpose. Finding ourselves is challenging enough. So now, trying to find someone else can be a real task. How can we know what we want in someone else if we don't know what we want in ourselves?

SOLUTION: Writing it down is the only way. Writing what we want in ourselves and then matching it with what we see in a partner. Remember that lesson in school where we had one word on one side, and we had to draw a line to match what the word meant. That's what you need to do. Take the time to get clear on what you want. Envision what your ideal partner would look like. Not how one can fix you or what they can give you, but what it would feel like to have them energetically. You have to be enough for yourself first. If you say this, I need a partner to have money so I can......... whatever that is, this is not what will get you a good partner. Because as soon as you get the money, you may hate many things about them. Here's another one: I want a partner with a big family because I don't have one; you may find that but dislike "him "in the end.

I know it seems daunting to write everything out. When I knew what I wanted, I always got it; it always came from a good place. Being honest with yourself is not an easy task, so make sure you check yourself, or you could be bringing some bad vibes and energy into your life that will take you a long time, later on, to get rid of.

PROBLEM: Dating Apps, There are so many dating apps; how can you choose which one and are you getting what you're seeing.

SOLUTION: Go organic; it always works out best anyway. The bonus is that you can usually meet someone through someone else, so they already have a rapport with this person.

The other perk of going organic is that we are energetic human beings, so if you're vibing with someone, you'll know it because you can feel it.

Hang out in places of your interests and hobbies.

PROBLEM: Expectations, There's a trend around these days where people have become soft and have expectations—an entitlement. This alone makes it difficult; this is on both sides, male or female.

SOLUTION: When we have no expectations about others, we leave no room to get disappointed.

PROBLEM: long-term vs short-term. Do we even consider looking at the idea of what a long-term relationship with someone would look like? Back in the day, this is how dating was structured? Do we look ahead at what it would be like in 5 or 10 years still with this person?

We only think about what we want and how we feel right now, and I know living in the moment is a good thing, but I believe this is one exception where you have to look into it long-term. How you'll feel in 10 years? Are your dreams and goals going to play out still? Can you grow with this person, is the potential there.

Consider this idea, so you're not wasting your time depending on your age and when you're looking. For example, dating in my late 40's, I'm not looking for a one-time wham bam, thank you, mama. I'm looking for a long-term partner I can connect with on a deeper level. This does make it more challenging. However, I have let go of the idea that it will happen fast and know it will take time. I am patient.

PROBLEM: Lastly, self-judgement. When we judge ourselves, we don't have a clear mind to make rational decisions or go after what we want and truly deserve. When you get to a place where you have no more self-judgement in life, things and people should start to flow in naturally. Judgment creates blocks in our life; we want to keep the pathways open. And having judgment is a sure way to keep those paths blocked. I believe we can and will save time to find our true partner, the one that fits our life perfectly, because what is meant to be will be and what is not won't—intentionally seeking without judgement, of course.

CONCLUSION: I will continue to take my time and put myself out there naturally and organically. Make sure your goals and dreams of your future are on the same page. Don't be fooled by the idea of things but rather what is. Listen to your gut, and don't ignore the red flags when you see them. Even if they are cute, don't make up an idea about the person or situation that could be possible—making decisions based on facts is critical and not just what is fun.

We are in different times nowadays, and when we judge ourselves, we don't have a clear mind to make rational decisions or go after what we want and truly deserve. When you get to a place where you have no more self-judgement in life, things and people should start to flow in naturally. Judgment creates blocks in our life; we want to keep the pathways open. And having judgement is a sure way to keep those paths blocked. I believe we can and will save time in finding our true partners, the one that fits our life perfectly, because what is meant to be will be and what is not won't—intentionally seeking without force and judgement, of course. Leave what is not meant for you; if it's too much work or too good to be true, it probably is.